Public health announcement

The World Health Organisation has recently issued an alarming report about a growing epidemic focused in Lima, Peru where an unconfirmed but growing number of international visitors have been infected with a rare strain of bacteria, Clostridium oedematiens type P.

C. oedematiens type P was first discovered in 2009 in Copenhagen where a significant epidemic resulted in mass morbidity and mortality and caused long-lasting negative health effects across the world. Infectious disease specialists gained some control over the disease in the following years but in Warsaw last year a mass evacuation of 800 people was required to halt the rapid spread of the illness. There was hope in the international medical community that health system strengthening over the last year would prevent an additional outbreak but this has proven to not be the case.

The initial symptoms of C. odematiens type P are lethargy, nausea, vomiting, focal migraines and cardiac pains while in the longer term the illness has been linked to mental health conditions such as major depression, anxiety disorders and even acute psychosis. The only known clinically effective treatments for this illness are consumption of alcohol, cognitive behavioural therapy and group hugs. Radical practitioners of alternative medicine insist that global decarbonisation will halt the spread of the illness but this has not received widespread support amongst the international medical community who at this stage have favoured a homeopathic approach to treatment in which powerful medicines are repeatedly diluted down with large quantities of water until very little of their original substance remains.

There have been repeated calls for the development of an effective antibiotic for C. odematiens type P yet clinical research has been slowed by the inability of the scientific community to come to any meaningful consensus as to how this research is to be funded. Australia recently announced $200 million of funding for vaccine research but in the process withdrew $7 billion of funding for the provision of other vaccinations to developing countries.

Those infected with C. odematiens type P are asked to remain calm and to report to their nearest public health nurse. At this stage the illness is considered to be very infectious and so vigilance is recommended amongst medical professionals here in Lima who are urged to work together to negotiate effective public health strategies to protect the health of citizens both here in Lima and internationally.

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